When one eats human food
by brainz4christ
Summary: What would happen to an Autobot's processor were he to eat human food?


**Author: Brainz4Christ**

**Co-authors: Eeyop1428, Trapped in Reality, Soundwave-82**

**This was a writing game I played with the above-listed authors. It's really fun, if anyone would want to join, and it produces... interesting results.**

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If you were to walk into Umbra, you would stumble upon a wall. Were you to climb that wall, you would find soldiers. They would, of course, shoot you on sight. None from the outer lands are allowed to enter the city. Of course, I use the word "city" in the loosest sense of the term. Umbra is 454,148 miles across, with a population of 1,234,255 people. To the best of my knowledge 1,234,254 of those people have large eyes (but not too large), blue, green, or violet in color. They all have perfectly tanned skin, no marks. The males are all muscled, powerfully built. They can push and pull and lift great weights. Females have a wiry strength; their muscles hidden, but still strong. They are flexible and tough, able to jump and kick and balance on the  
smallest edge. They are all beautiful, their faces balanced, their lips full, their arms and legs just the right length. Their body types are all the same: thin, tall, and delicate, betraying their great strength. To anyone, this would truly seem like paradise. But in the midst of all that beauty, there is one girl. She is small and short. Her eyes are not almond shaped. Her face is not balanced. Her hair is stringy and oily. Her eyes and ears are too big for her face. Her mouth and nose, on the other hand, are much too small. Her arms and legs are knobby and awkward. By anyone's standards, this girl would be considered ugly.

Her name was Semi, meaning 'half', so therefore is not a fully formed being, drawn from her appearance. Not one of the inhabitants of the city knew why she was so different from the rest of them, nor how to cure her. She was simply born that way, a genetic defect from all the million pure and beautiful denizens who looked down on her with contemptuous, hateful eyes; hateful because she was not like them; not beautiful, not normal. From the moment Semi's life began she was an alien, destined to be alone.

So she ran, and ran and ran. She met the wall and with her hidden strength, she scaled it and leaped over the top. Nobody would miss her. Not even her parents. Over the edge and she still ran. Nothing could stop her. She paused in her journey to look at the new scenery as it traveled by. Never had she seen such beauty even in Umbra. She followed the highway when she found it, and walked alongside it. A strange creature popped out from the nearby bushes. It was brown and had stringy legs and horns. It stared at her and crossed the street. That's when she saw headlights. She screamed at the creature to move, but it stilled in the headlights. She ran forth and jumped to push the deer out of the way. By now, the driver was screeching to a halt. She barely registered it as a yellow car. The impact was in slow motion. She felt the fender crack her ribs, and the brown creature fell under the left tire. She knew it had died, and she knew she would follow it.

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Sunstreaker stilled at the carnage before him. The deer jumped from nowhere. Then Sunstreaker focused then on the injured girl and at the pain she was in before hearing sound the deafening of twisting metal as a large mechanical figure stood over the injured girl as she lay in the road struggling to move she watched as should of an emergency vehicle sirens can be heard

Soon A Search & Rescue vehicle came to the side of Sunstreaker and soon the sound of the same sound of deafening twisting metal and second figure stood with him looking down at the injured girl and the deer.

The girl rose slightly , staring angrily at the yellow vehicle, but that expression was not to stay for long. The vehicle rose, warping as no hovercar could. The girl screamed, collapsing to the pavement… and then ninjas burst out of nowhere. Robot ninjas. And they were green. Shouting "Pizza!" they…

And then Sunstreaker woke up.

And even to him, green robot ninjas that shouted "pizza" were silly.

"Slaggit, Prime was right. You do have weird dreams after eating human food…"


End file.
